Tomorrow will be my 25th birthday, one in which I actually do feel that I’ve aged, and one that I feel appears to be more significant to me compared to my other birthdays.
Don’t get me wrong though. Of course I value my other birthdays, my 16th, 18th, when I turned 20…but 25 though, this was the age that I thought I’d be more accomplished and successful in my own tribulations. What had happened?
I ended up learning lessons. A collectable amount.
As a result, I found that these learning lessons occurred either spontaneously or via trial and error over the years. Note that these so called lessons that I will be mentioning, are not too extravagant or super out there. They are meaningful, at least in my life and point of view.
Lesson 1. Failure will continue to happen, but it is okay to let go of things some times. I find peace in this lesson. I’ve always felt the ultimate need to pick myself back up again, and to try, and to try some more. Often leading myself into exhaustion and over thinking, and impeding thoughts of why I can’t do so, or how I may be able to fixate things that I’ve obviously lacked the knowledge for. But what I’ve been learning, or, slowly learning and accepting, is that failure will continue to happen. However that is okay because, letting go will sometimes help you acknowledge your own growth. At this point and time, at least I’ve tried right? I cannot tell myself that I haven’t tried. And even though the outcome was not great, at least I can tell myself that ‘Hey, you at least tried it girl’.
“People ruin each other in unspeakable ways and declare their innocence by calling it love.”
Lesson 2. I learned to love whole. Loving as a whole though, also means having the acceptability of yourself. Loving whole can be tough, and learning to differentiate that love with acceptability rather than receiving something back all the time is a major factor.
Lesson 3. To be grateful, because you never know what may happen for you in the future. Nor will you know what you may lose in the end; And with that, this lesson came through from experiences. Whether it have been a death of a loved one, loss of contact with someone close, or even letting go of someone who meant so much to you in the beginning.
Lesson 4. A loss of a loved one, can bring you a different outlook in life.
Lesson 5. Be angry, be prideful, be opinionated, but do it meaningfully.
Lesson 6. Individual change should be voluntary, not forced.
Lesson 7. Be conversational. Confront the awkwardness of conversation and talk to close friends, relatives, new people. Go out of your comfort zone. Conversing is something that should be practiced more. Not technology based, social media induced, or any other means that separates us from talk one on one personally.
Lesson 8. Old hobbies shouldn’t be forgotten. If you used to draw random sketches, or watch corny televisions shows, don’t let that slide from your life. You tend to forget the bliss in what used to be.
“…I think that we live or die under the tyranny of perfection. Socially, we are pushed towards being perfect. Physically, beautiful to conform to standards that are cruel and uncommon, to behave and lead our lives in a certain way, to demonstrate to the world that we are happy and healthy and all full of sunshine. We are told to always smile and never sweat, by multiple commercials of shampoo or beer. And I feel that the most achievable goal of our lives is to have the freedom that imperfection gives us.
And there is no better patron saint of imperfection than a monster.
We will try really hard to be angels, but I think that a balanced, sane life is to accept the monstrosity in ourselves and others as part of what being human is. Imperfection, the acceptance of imperfection, leads to tolerance and liberates us from social models that I find horrible and oppressive.”
Guillermo del Toro
Lesson 9. You’re not superhuman, so don’t try to be. Sometimes, your mind and your body can be two complete opposites when finding it’s locus on doing multiple things at once.
Lesson 10. You’ll find new fears. But, you’ll also overcome a few of your old ones as well.
Lesson 11. Constructive criticism can be helpful, but only when you learn from it, not allow it to manifest your life.
Lesson 12. Try something new, even if it’s not in your comfort zone. And if you get scared, try it once more.
Lesson 13. Have a few days of no contact, no social media, no interaction whatsoever; and to what? To think. To re-evaluate mixed thoughts and emotions. To get ready for something big that will occur in your life, or, in a similar manner, to get ready for something fairly small as well.
Lesson 14. Ask your family members how their day is. By that, I do not mean to say it out of criticism or in a stoic way, just to keep a conversation going. Find out what actually happened throughout their day, and listen. And of course, respond back.
Lesson 15. Quality over quantity. This saying goes for people, things, and even goals.
“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.”
Lesson 16. Set boundaries. And be prepared to stick alongside them. Boundaries shouldn’t be viewed as a safety zone, it should be used as a stepping stone towards accomplishing goals, and/or decisions.
Lesson 17. Be silent, if you cannot find something nice to say.
Lesson 18. Always smile, but keep face. Even in the worse of times, find the ability to smile.
“My highest ambition is to crawl out from under the ash and laugh at the things that thought that they could bury me.”
Lesson 19. Laugh often.
Lesson 20. You always seem to find something new about even with those you’ve known the longest.
“Sometimes you are going to miss a person who was an almost to you. And feel sad because there is no name for that feeling. You just feel it in a way that makes you tired to your very bones.”
Lesson 21. Closure sometimes will never happen. Best believe that. And you must get over it, and eventually you will, if you are not able to do so at the moment. Some things will never give you that utmost finalized confirmation of closure, and that’s ok.
Lesson 22. Learn to pick your battles, you don’t have to win all the time. Letting yourself to believe that you must win all the time will lead to this continuum of others feeling like they lack the ability to express fully towards you. Let things go, or at least..find a midpoint and discuss.
Lesson 23. Acceptance takes time, it doesn’t happen overnight.
Lesson 24. Read often, it’ll help you vocalize and have meaningful thoughts.
“Be careful when you cast out your demons that you don’t throw away the best of yourself.”
Lesson 25. Ending major conflicts, will help you to heal. There is no longer a need to stay stagnant, there’s a new need to focus on future instances. Stagnation is not a place you should be caught in between, especially at this point in your life.