A friend once told me that I was the type of person that someone could talk to, and be able to count and depend on in times of need. The thing is, I often get told that. I often hear from others how compassionate and caring I can be towards others. At the same time, I can also be told the complete opposite, depending on the mood I was in.
I wrote a post a long time ago talking about the change I had in 2013..it’s definitely a long time ago. I’m even surprised that I had stumbled upon the post myself, recollecting all my thoughts, thinking about what I could have been thinking during that time period in my life. Changes happen, and here’s that life update.
I changed my viewpoint on things. Naive as I was back then, I always thought that what I didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me in the long run. I kept by that, and honestly, I still do every now and then. However this time, I also know that there are some sacrifices you need to make. Take it with a grain of salt when I say this. Sometimes there are things that are really not worth your time, like actually time consuming to a point where you wonder why the heck did I put myself in this situation in the first place? The stubbornness of my emotions sometimes got the best of me. Now, I consider why, or how to get over things. I no longer dwell on such mediocre things, and if I somehow do, because I am only human and I am not perfect. Then I don’t dwell on that emotion of feeling negative about it, because sometimes, things just happen the way they do.
I changed my goal points. I feel that it’s always changing, and things get added and removed constantly. However, I’m no longer just thinking in the present time and going with the flow. A lot of people considered me to be a plan-ahead-type-of-person, when truly I’m not. I always focused on the present, I didn’t think about the future. But as I’m growing up, and experiencing the highs and lows of life, you need to consider the future. You can’t just stay planar your whole life, and with that, you can’t be truly comfortable all the time.
I changed who I used to praise and look up to. My idols, my mentors, those important figures that I thought were putting me into the right direction. I stopped looking up to them. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s not like these people are negative aspects in my life now. I’m just changing my perspective on things, and with that, it includes those who were part of it as well. Instead, I focused more on myself; and it’s definitely harder to do.
I changed my comfort zone. I choose to no longer be comfortable with any situation that I put myself in. Things are constantly changing. With that comes a change of heart, feelings, attitudes, behaviours and all of the above. This keeps me on my toes, because if some thing doesn’t turn out as planned; there won’t be such a significant set back in my life.
I changed how I listened to others. I listen wholeheartedly. It’s not like I wasn’t before. Everyone’s lives are different, this includes different stages in their lives, experiences that they’re in, and whatever may be occurring in their world at that very moment. I listen in order to fully express my answers back. Interacting with others, and communicating proficiently is key.
And lastly, I changed who I decide to keep around me. Why keep the people in your life if they can’t understand why you’re changing yourself? No matter how long or how much you’ve known a person, when you’re changing and those people act the way they do they’ll sometime will never understand why you’re acting of behaving the way you do now. And that’s completely ok. Sometimes you need to remove those type of people, or at least temporarily. If they really did understand, they’ll realize it themselves as well.
I feel like I’ll always remain focal on certain aspects in my life that I feel needs to be changed. It was a long process. One that I felt proud of undergoing, and one that I know will help me find myself in the process. Noting these changes in my life once in a while, better understands my own understanding about how much has changed over the years. Change is not something to fear over.