Each year is always different, I always end up making a New Years resolutions, all leading up towards what I ‘could’ be or ‘should’ be doing. Despite the numerous adversities of personal goal setting and searching for self, I haven’t recollected what I’ve learned through the year.
With that being said, I’m compiling a list of 17 things I’ve learned in 2017. A reflection you may say, or a list of virtues I’ve come to understand and respect. In retrospect, let’s countdown to my number one shall we?
Seventeen. Seek for help, especially when you feel like you don’t need it. It’s important to note that seeking for help is not a bad thing. I’ve always had this notion that seeking for help was a form of inner weakness, a helplessness that needed to be helped since I could not figure it out on my own. I know now the importance of seeking for help, even when I feel like I can do it on my own. It’s nice to have another perspective, a helping hand to alleviate you in times of need. You end up becoming more grateful for the help in the long run, and you tend to realize that appreciation that person has for allowing themselves to help you out.
Sixteen. Relapsing to old negative habits, can make you realize how far you’ve accomplished so far. Relapsing is not a good thing, I’m well aware of that. The old negative habits you have may encountered before, you would not necessarily want to obtain them again in the present time. The point of my statement here is that I was aware of my relapse of particular old habits, I was aware; I knew what was going on, and I stopped myself. I stopped myself because I knew better, I knew that I was better than that. I’ve realized that I’m accomplished so much, and even if the accomplishments may have been mediocre, it was enough for me to realize the old habits that I did not want to show out to the surface. I’ve changed.
Fifteen. Outgrowing people is okay. Sometimes it’s hard to pin point as to why people outgrow friendships that were solidified for a long time. The truth is, there’s always a reason. There will always be a reason why you said the things you said, or why things are the way they are now. I don’t see outgrowing people as a negative thing. I find it a form of simply growing up, moving on in life, or a possible change of perspective. People outgrow each other and we all move on. I believe moving on can be hard, but sometimes it needs to happen in order for things to move forward.
Fourteen. Build traditions with friends and other loved ones. I find that when you build these traditions, and keep up to date with them; you have something to look forward to. You tend to get all sorts of emotions, and you get to bond with those loved ones.
Thirteen. Thinking before you speak, is not just a saying. It’s real life. Sometimes you don’t always have to win the fight, sometimes you don’t always have to say the last word. Sometimes what you end up saying, really isn’t that important if you end up hurting the other person. The importance of this statement is something I’ve always ignored. I didn’t care for what I said, because I meant it. I was straight to the point. However, I learned to bite my tongue for situations I shouldn’t open my mouth in. I’ve learned to be more respectable in another way, other than what I thought was respectable by saying it out loud. I’ve always told my two cents as a way to show that I cared for the person and my form of respect. But did I really think of them in the process?
Twelve. Be selfish, and don’t feel bad about it. We need to spoil ourselves once in awhile. It also doesn’t have to be materialistic or even be surrounded by loved ones. As long as you feel happy, do something for yourself. Even if you end up doing so by yourself.
Eleven. Let yourself fail, but don’t give up. Beating yourself over something that had already happened, won’t get you anywhere in life. It’s okay to fall down numerous times, even if it already happened once or twice before, just don’t give up in the process.
Ten. There is no man/woman who is more interesting, attractive, or powerful enough to stop you from self improvement, lifestyle changes, and course in life. If that ever happens, run. Just kidding….but for reals though, why sweat on any of that white noise around you?
Nine. Your inner thoughts can mess you up big time. That constant pacing back and forth, thinking about how you could have improved or been a better person. All those inner thoughts will only screw you over in the end. Things happen for a reason, you cannot control what occurs next. You’re not in charge of the universe. You’re only responsible for what happens to yourself next.
Eight. Play with your pets, even if it’s for ten minutes. It’s a funny thing, I know. I have a dog who just turned two years old. I’ve realized how my own emotions and daily outings when I’ve been stressed, has also stressed him out too! Nowadays, I always try to put in ten minutes to play with him. Clears my mind of things, and it shows him that I appreciate and love him so much.
Seven. Don’t get yourself too comfortable with a situation, setting, person. Things can happen, and things will change. I don’t use the word ‘never’ in this statement because it’s okay to also get comfortable in a situation, setting, or with a person. I just say this in order to be aware that things can happen, and things can change out of no where. Being aware of this can help you be more aware when things do turn sour.
Six. Learning something new can benefit all. Learn something new for yourself, and you end up realizing you can use that newfound trait to help another person, or many others.
Five. Read three chapters of a book each night before you sleep. It’s a common thing of mine I’ve been slowly doing for not only this past year, but during my 2016 year as well. It keeps my mind flowing, gets me interested in topics and book genres that I never thought I would be interested in. And why three? Well, it’s a conversation starter to say the least.
Four. Not everyone will be out there rooting for you, there will be people who will thrive off of your failures. Proving them wrong, and showing face is something I try to remind myself. I’m mindful with what I do, and I’m proud with how far I’ve accomplished.
Three. Disrespect should not be tolerated, even if you love the person. There’s always a fine line where respect and disrespect lies. Being disrespected can tear down a person’s perspective. Once you’ve crossed it, would you see that person in the same light again? I don’t, and I surely won’t tolerate it anymore.
Two. Make time for things that should be important, even if it means to saying ‘no’ to numerous things in the process. We devalue the important things by chronically saying ‘yes’ to things that you either (1) feel bad to say no to; (2) because you owe them; (3) because you have the time to do so. We fail to realize that all three points also correlate with what you should be saying yes to. The things that are important tend to make you feel bad of not owing your own time to do so. But don’t get me wrong though, if you’re tired, stressed, have too much on hand. Then by all means, say no to important things too! Just realize the importance of saying yes to things that matter.
One. Raise your words, don’t cause thunder. The most important statement I’ve learned this year. Use your words to convey how you’re feeling, what you’re doing, what you’re meaning; but don’t cause arguments. Learn when to stop, to hold back, to not cause any more tribulations. Don’t cause that thunder. It’s not worth anyone’s time. I thought that I had to put my point across. I still do. I still believe that I need to have the other person realize my point of view. However, I use my words in a way that I don’t sound like I’m be-littling another individual. I say so in correspondence of having us both understand one another. To have conversation, to know when something is wrong. To argue in an improving manner.
What’s your top 17 things you’ve learned?