I don’t believe in forgiveness. And here’s why.

Many would say, that I must have these altered views of forgiveness because I, myself, have gotten hurt. Truth is, yes. I did get hurt, multiple times. And that makes everyone human, and with that in mind, trust becomes a big issue. Forgiveness to me is pointless; especially in an act of nature from which whom the person meant their actions. It upsets me whenever I hear a person say, just say you’re sorry, just apologize. My answer is no, I refuse to apologize, I refuse to say sorry. I’d rather show them my own way, or in relation, my version of apologizing to someone.

The thing is, whatever I may have done, whatever I might have said. I meant it. I mean it. I don’t refrain from it, I planned it. I am just as responsible for my actions, as any other person out there.

So why would I say sorry? Why would I see a need to apologize? That partial trust, or that whole trust is completely lost. I’d rather work my way up to earn that trust. I’d rather use my actions to protray who I truly am, to show them that I am truly sorry.

Words are just words.

But actions…actions bring those words to life. It shows a more meaningful message. It shows that you care enough to do something, rather than stay planar and just say a word or paragraph of an apology.

And for all those reasons. I don’t believe in forgiveness.



  1. vaishali sabherwal

    It seems you have been truly hurt by someone you really cared about or trusted. Co-incidentally enough, I have been struggling with something similar.. and I could relate to your post… I totally agree with you.. cannot forgive, and won’t apologise.


  2. nikgee

    I am in accord with your take on forgiveness. All too often the apology is used in a way to enable a person through their actions to hurt another and say oh well I can just say I’m sorry and it will all be better. I’m sorry it is not that easy. Forgiveness is a process. It begins with a verbal apology and a verbal acknowledgement. BUT one must make good on their apology to regain respect. On the other side regaining trust is key. Such is life . If the process works the two grow stronger as they move forward. If not the cycle repeats itself. Abuse… Apology… Abuse… Apology… How many people are caught up in that cycle. The world is crazy with pain.


  3. Tony Burgess

    Forgiveness is hard and sometimes you do it for yourself so you don’t have all this rage and hate in you which is something I have experience in. Forgiveness frees you to live so nothing has anything on you.


  4. thereluctantpoet

    This was a really thoughtful post. I have felt the same way as you. There is a certain amount of satisfaction in not having to feel like you need to say, “Sorry” or ask for forgiveness. And maybe not having to actually say it is one thing but I have learned that the only way that you can emotionally let go is to forgive, even if you only say it to yourself.

    My example is my 2nd Ex-wife. If she hadn’t run off with her boyfriend and left me I would have never been on the path to meet my soulmate and Angel of a 3rd wife!! Sometimes hurt and heartaches are steppingstones to the future you could have never dreamed of!!! The opposite of love is not hate, it is “I don’t care anymore” and the only way I have found to not care and cut the emotional tie to the incident is to forgive and move on. No one says you ever have to forget.

    Thanks for following my blog! Check out my “Thanks for leaving me”


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